WRITTEN BY: Jordan Ravensbergen

The Value of Training

“Hello, I’m Jordan and we’ve chatted around church before. I was wondering if you might be open to having a coffee with me every now and again and potentially being like a sort of mentor. You don’t have to decide right now, but maybe take a week or two to think about it. Or we could go to one coffee and see how it goes. Anyway, I’ll talk to you next week!”

This cringe little monologue was basically how I asked someone to be my mentor for the first time.

It was a surprise to me at the time, but this person declined my invitation to be my mentor. And I was seriously bummed.

Mentorship had become an indicator of my value. If someone wanted to mentor me, that meant I was worth mentoring. I was worth investing time, energy, and prayer into. So while this person had fine reasons for not choosing to mentor me, I took it as a rejection of who I was.

I don’t recommend you take my experience above as instructional. I hope this is a reminder that our identity and your worth are not found in others’ opinions.

The Weight of Learning

Before we go further, I want to make a distinction between mentorship and discipleship. Discipleship is like being on a sports team, following the leadership of a captain. You play the game together, yet there is an element of leadership and intentionality that creates general growth and challenge amongst the team. Mentorship is more like being on a team and having your coach work with you one-on-one to really hone a skill. With mentorship, there is a focus on specific growth. Both are distinct, important parts of a Christian community.

Many years after the cringe incident, when I switched from being a support staff member at our church to an apprentice focused on pursuing a role in ministry, it felt like all of the tasks I was doing were now heavy with the spiritual responsibility. Although many of these tasks were continued from my staff role, there was a new weight to them working in a formal ministry position. This was a new weight I was happy to carry. Until the combined weight of task and spiritual responsibility almost took me down.

In any ministerial or leadership role, there is a sense of spiritual responsibility for the people you are caring for and discipling. This can settle around our shoulders like a heavy jacket–a comfort in the purpose it confirms, but exhausting to wear while trying to get things done. Eventually, the weight of it may even make us start to question our purpose and our calling.

We were not meant to bear this weight alone.

But what do you do if for some reason, for a season, you don’t have someone to help you lift that weight? What if you’ve experienced rejection? Started questioning the calling God has shared with you?

The Freedom of Growing

1 Timothy 4:6-16 serves as a template for Mentorship when we are asking questions like that.

In this passage Paul is writing to Timothy, and while this letter was most likely read to the church at Ephesus where Timothy was serving as well, it contains great ideas about continued growth for Timothy while Paul is away.

Littered throughout this passage is Paul’s assertion that Timothy should “Train [him]self in godliness,” (v.7 NRSVUE) and “put these things into practice, devote [him]self to them.” Despite Paul’s absence, Timothy’s life goes on and his spiritual growth is still a priority, even if there is no one around to keep him accountable!

Without his mentor close by, Timothy’s spiritual growth consists of a combination of engaging with scripture and living with exemplary character.

Though Paul and Timothy would have had limited access to parts of the scripture we now refer to as the Bible we are blessed to have the whole thing! When all else fails, we can always look to Jesus as the ultimate mentor through the four gospel accounts of Jesus’ life and ministry. Revisiting his life and prayerfully considering the way he interacts with the downtrodden and brokenhearted, can teach us so much about the ways we can grow to do the same.

Paul often speaks in his letters about living with good character. This goes beyond a specific moral code; it’s a soul that is incredibly content with Christ. It’s a soul that is loving and faithful and pure as a response to God’s transformative love, not as an attempt to earn it.

This is not an encouragement to pursue your calling alone. Instead, it's an encouragement to continue growing–with or without a mentor. Training yourself is not a replacement for community, discipleship, or mentorship. But it is a way to continue spiritual growth when these things may be absent.

You Are Worth It

We don’t have to reach a certain “level” or be “a good investment” to be worth mentoring. That’s not where our worth comes from. Your value is not contingent on your performance as a "student.” God loved you before you stepped into ministry, and he will love you long after you’ve preached your last preach.

Where might God be calling you to train yourself?